Good relationships are fundamental to positive behaviour management.

Rapport is how we build relationships.

It’s about understanding and connecting with the other person which, in our case, is our learners.

If we have good relationships, two things follow.

First, it’s more likely learners will behave positively for us.

Second, it’s less likely learners will behave poorly.

Simple, right?

Why?

Because relatedness is a core human need. Something we all seek.

If we feel like this need is being satisfied in a social situation, we are less likely to do things that will jeopardise the continued fulfilment of that need.

To put it another way, if learners have a good relationship with you, they will be less likely to behave in a way that puts that relationship at risk.

It really is no more complicated than that.

So, rapport is that back and forth we have with learners. That connection that shows them that we have their best interests at heart and want them to do well in our lessons.

Teachers who have positive, learning-focussed classrooms tend to have good relationships with their learners.

This doesn’t mean they try to be friends with their learners.

The rule is: be friendly but not friends.

Nor does it mean these teachers avoid tough decisions, enforcing sanctions, or asking learners to work hard even if they don’t want to.

Far from it.

Teachers who develop good relationships with their learners demonstrate through their actions – their planning, teaching and assessment – that they have learners’ best interests at heart.

They show this to their learners through what they do.

And showing is always more powerful than telling.

This builds rapport as much as being friendly does; we all feel positively disposed towards people if we feel they have our best interests at heart.

Let’s dive in a bit deeper and think about how rapport really works in the classroom.

What is Rapport?

Rapport is the affinity we have with one another.

It refers to a harmonious relationship; one in which both members understand each other’s feelings or ideas.

Rapport rests on good communication.

If we have a relationship characterised by bad rapport, it is likely that the communication taking place within that relationship will leave something to be desired.

One or both sides will be failing in their efforts to connect.

Good rapport means we understand one another.

As part of this we will most probably trust one another as well.

Seeing as how the relationship we have developed is harmonious, we will operate under the assumption that our interests are aligned and that we are motivated to work in support of one another, if not in total, then at least in part, and certainly for the duration of the time we are together.

In the classroom, rapport manifests itself as a shared understanding between you and your learners.

This understanding encompasses the idea that you are working together in pursuit of the same end – learners’ success.

That success may be defined precisely, such as in terms of exam results, or it may be defined more widely, such as in terms of learning about a subject, enjoying being in the classroom and, as a result, feeling productive and creative.

We can all recognise rapport when we see it.

There are usually smiles, mirrored gestures, and a sense of ease and relaxation emanating from people’s body language.

This reflects the fact that rapport helps us to feel at one with the situation in which we find ourselves.

This feeling, in turn, dispels uncertainty and any sense of conflict, or potential conflict, putting us into a comfort zone within which we can feel calm.

Rapport does not happen immediately.

It takes time to develop.

And it needs to be sustained.

We cannot assume that, once it arrives, it will remain as it is without a degree of effort and maintenance on our part.

While there are some ways we can speed up the rapport-building process, the fact stands that the best route is always the expression of genuine sentiment.

By this I mean that it is very difficult (though not impossible) to foster rapport without a sense that you are truly interested in the wellbeing and goals of your learners.

Ultimately, good relationships tend to rest on a foundation of mutual respect and concern, with this stemming from a belief common to those involved that both parties have inherent value and are important.

So, when it comes to positive behaviour management, recognise that building rapport is key.

It is through rapport that we establish and maintain relationships.

And when good relationships are in place, behaviour tends to be better.