Strategy One: Showing Interest

We like it when people are interested in us.

We like it when people notice us and ask us how we’re doing.

Showing interest shows you recognise the other person, their value, their status and who they are as an individual.

It’s a really easy way to build rapport.

Yet, many teachers overlook it.

Many teachers wonder why behaviour management is so challenging, but don’t stop to consider that it could be made a little bit easier simply by showing more interest in learners.

When we show interest, we indicate to the other person that we think they are important.

And we all like to feel important.

That is a fundamental truth.

The flipside is true as well.

We don’t like being ignored.

Or feeling like we’ve been ignored.

Remember, objective reality isn’t so important here. It’s perceived reality that matters.

If a learner perceives that you ignore them and aren’t interested in them, it makes building rapport harder.

It doesn’t matter if this is true or not. It’s the perception that matters.

Showing interest helps learners perceive that you are interested in them.

Obvious, isn’t it, when you put it like that?

Being made to feel unimportant – being snubbed or ignored – can be an uncomfortable experience.

And we don’t tend to seek out experiences like that.

The opposite is also true.

If someone shows interest in us – our thoughts and ideas, what we’ve been up to, what our interests are – then we are more likely to want to talk to them again and to view them in a positive light.

Some teachers tell me they don’t have time to get to know all their learners, particularly if they’re in a secondary context and have lots of classes.

Well, fair enough.

But showing interest isn’t the same as getting to know someone.

You could meet someone at a bus stop, show interest in what they say, and never see them again. It might cost you all of five seconds.

And what is the cost in terms of time of not showing interest in your learners?

I’d argue it’s greater.

Because you’ll more likely have behavioural challenges you need to spend time dealing with.

Here are five examples of how and where you can show interest:

• When you ask learners a question, make sure you wait for their response and demonstrate interest through your body language and the follow-up questions you ask.
• When greeting learners, and if appropriate, make specific comments or ask specific questions that demonstrate your interest in them as individuals. For example: ‘How did you get on with that homework, Sam?’ ‘Hi Janine, ready for another good lesson today?’ ‘Rahul, I’ve thought about that question from last lesson – remind me to talk to you about it later on.’
• Learn learners’ names and use these regularly. If you struggle with names, tell learners this and ask them to help you.
• During activities, either circulate through the room and engage learners in conversations about their work or call them up to the front one at a time and talk to them there.
• Try to remember pieces of information you elicit about individual learners. For example, their hobbies, their interests, and their goals. You can call on this information in the future to help build rapport. Every time you do, you will show the learner in question you are interested in them as an individual.

Strategy Two: Talking Outside Lessons

Another really simple strategy that is often overlooked is talking to learners outside lessons.

Talking to someone helps build rapport.

It’s not always instant, but there’s a lot more chance of building rapport than if you don’t talk to someone.

We can build rapport outside lessons as well as while we are teaching.

Every time we see a learner around school it is an opportunity to speak to them and to develop the relationship we have with them.

This is particularly powerful when it’s learners who are exhibiting challenging behaviour in your lessons.

Talking to them in a different context gives both of you a chance to change the relationship.

To build some bridges.

When I was teaching, some of the best behaviour management wins I ever had, came off the back of talking to learners outside lessons who were creating behavioural challenges inside lessons.

The change of context plays such a big role here.

It frames things differently.

It shifts you and the learner out of role. Out of the patterns you might have fallen into in the classroom.

It’s a simple as smiling and saying ‘hello’ when we chance upon a learner.

This will have a positive impact. No doubt.

We might take things a step further by chatting to them while we are on break or lunch duty, or by telling them about something connected to their work when we see them before registration.

The goal is to establish rapport by showing interest.

Finding opportunities to do this outside of lessons actually becomes pretty easy once you start thinking in this way.

Take a stroll through the playground at lunchtime.

Stand outside your classroom while learners are moving between lessons.

Have your lunch with learners in the dining hall.

Talking to learners outside lessons demonstrates that we think they are important and that we value them as individuals.

The memories that result from these brief experiences are stored in learners’ minds, alongside their perceptions they have about us as teachers, the lessons we teach, and the content of those lessons.

Every time you see a learner you teach outside of lessons, view it as an opportunity to further establish rapport with them. 

A friendly word lifts us all up, as does a smile, and a recognition that we are there and that we matter.